I was scheduled to have my class in the library during the period after lunch, but when I arrived at the library the door was locked. I headed to the office to get a key as my students were waiting outside and looking like they were about to skip. The secretary directed me to one of the counselor's offices, and as I enter the room is packed with teachers and staff.
"Um hi, can I get the key for the library?"
"Oh hey Kate, would you like some chicken?"
"No thanks, I just ate and have to get to class. Could I get the key please?"
"It's Samoan day this week you have to eat Samoan food! Come have some chicken or breadfruit."
"Thanks for the offer, really, but my class is waiting outside and we need to work on their reports."
"Ok here is the key, but you have to enjoy the culture, take some chicken with you!"
"Thanks but I'm good. Thanks for the offer I'll get some food on Samoan Day."
Really nice teachers, but I have to teach those kids lol…
Thanh and I went to ask the principle about when we have to sign out for the day because we had heard a different time from our department heads than what our principle had posted on the bulletin. Thanh speaks for us…
"Mr. _____ I see what you have posted on the bulletin, but I was under the impression tha-"
"YOU ARE UNDER MY IMPRESSION!"
Thanh looked mortified as he yelled at us, but I almost couldn't hold in a laugh. It's hard to be upset by a screaming administrator when they are butchering English.
One of my students barely speaks any English but I have lately started to have a problem with him because of inappropriate comments. Here is a conversation that lead to one. He walks up to my desk clutching his chest making very dramatic, tortured looking faces.
"Hey ____, you look pretty sick."
He replies with much clutching of his chest and wincing. "Yes, I… stroke… It's no good… no work…"
"Well don't worry, just keep working on your journal and if you die I will give your body to your family."
"Miss I die now…"
"You can do a little work first."
"No… I die… last words: I love Miss Kate."
"How 'bout: I love Life Science?"
"No… I love… Miss… Kate..."
"OK _____, you need to get started on your work."
"I come you house tonight. Finish then."
"NO."
Conversation with a student who I am near certain is MR but receives no special education, but she tries very hard in class despite the work being somewhat over her head. We were getting settled for some PowerPoint notes.
"Miss Kate, we have notes today?"
"Yep."
"How many slide?"
"Five."
Very carrying mumble, "Oh, fuck you Miss Kate."
For a moment the class is silent, then it erupts into laughter, "ooooooo!"s and lots of pointing. For a minute the student didn't even realize what was going on until the girl next to her said,
"_____, you just swore at Miss Kate!"
She looked at me and responded, "Oh sorry Miss Kate! I meant to swear in Samoan!"
I actually had to try really hard not to laugh, because I know this girl and she just likes to swear but never really means it. Especially since 97% of the time she is trying very hard and really trying to please me and garner some attention. Or maybe I just can't be fazed anymore.
Recently one moment has taken the funny (and kinda sad) cake. My Marine Science seniors are currently working on animal reports. I have mentioned before that my students are not at the level of their states-side counterparts, and in fact are realistically at about a fifth grade level when it comes to writing and analytical skills. Because of this I had created a packed with questions and areas for the answers that would guide the students in finding and organizing information about their chosen animal. I was looking over one student's worksheet who had been using the internet to do his research when I stumbled upon this completely serious answer:
LOL LOL LOL LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the funniest things I have read in some time.